hardcoreparfait

23 melty kisses - various

2009-08-10T08:04:45Z

[public | voice ]

Hey. How's everyone doing? It's cold where I am now but I'm doing fine. Too bad there's no snow in this weather. I would have made a snowman.

See, after the whole Steel Samurai stint, I've been getting lots of mails from my fans. I can't repy to them one by one so I decided, why, since everyone's doing some kind of public announcement to the most stupid things, I thought maybe I should do one too. A show for all the my fans and non-fans to listen to. So this segment is called -JUST A MOMENT, GINTOKI-SENSEI-

Right, now, on to the show.

I wanna thank you kids for sending me all of these postcards. I really appreciate it. When you're in a cold place like this, it sure does warms the heart. Some people don't understand the value of mails anymore. It's not like you can read posts in the network over and over again. Nor can you tuck your favorite post underneath your bed.

Now, you ask, Gin-chan~ whose postcard do you keep under your bed?

Well, it's a post card from a kid named Mai Vanilla. Her postcard asks

"Gintoki-sensei,

I always wonder why you're so fueled up? And you said once that it's your dreams that drive you in a day. So what do you dream of, sensei?"

Well... I dream a lot of things. Like at night I have a longer dream of finally going to Candy Mountain, you know? That's why I'm in this ship anyway. When I take my lunch nap, I dream about Jean's fried ice cream. When you guys stop by Gunsmoke, you better order one! Then during my siyaysta, I dream about caramel corn. Sometimes, I dream about a sundae float. And then before dinner, I also dream about chocolate cakes and strawberry parfaits.

See, dreams like these fuel great men, you know. Never stop dreaming kids!

[winding way]

Right, so you kids are keeping cold, right? Sophie sure warmed you guys up but yeah, I thought maybe the ship might need a heating and cooling system of sorts. That engine expends too much steam and heat that we might as well take advantage of it. I'll be hammerin' around to create a heating and ventilation system so yeah, don't be complainin' when I start hammerin' alright?

[filter to Takasugi Shinsuke]

Oi, Shin-chan.

Sounds like your ship's havin' a ball. Hope you're havin' fun. It's your day after all.

22 slices of dark chocolate mousse - [public]

2009-07-18T03:28:25Z

WHAT THE HELL!?! MY 500 DUBLOOOOOONS!?!

[ooc: Yes. trufax poverty for Gintoki for betting against Ichigo.]

21 dulce de leche * various

2009-07-03T04:33:52Z

[public voice]

Dear fans,

I know it's awesome since I was awesome. And so was the Magistrate. And so was everybody behind the whole production.

So kids. Ladies. When you address your letters to me, don't just thank me. Thank the entire Winding Way. Gin-chan didn't run this whole show by himself, you know.

Men don't live alone in this world. All of us play a part in something grand. All of us work together to make things work. So the success of the play is really due to these guys behind me. So please, stalk them just as much. I know Riku likes getting flowers and pretty shiny things. And Peter likes... scones. I think.

Thanks a lot for all the boxes of strawberry milk and strawberry lollipops you sent my way. I CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH. I mean I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH for the amajing.

With the races comin', we're gonna do our best to entertain you with our amajing show. Just you watch! Especially those that watch at night!

JUST DOOO EEEE~~T

Sincerly,
Your favorite Steel Samurai, Sakata Gin-chan

p.s.
Let me tell you folks. Watch what you're eating next time. You never know what you bit.

[in a booming Samurai voice]

SEE YOU IN THE WAY, CITIZENS OF NEO-REIAL!

[ filter to the way | voice ]

What the~ I see what you did thar, Riku? Didn't have the guts to say those words out loud, huh?

It does get kinda of cheeky doesn't it. Tch. Even I don't like it when scriptwiters put some things in my mouth too you know. But lol, imagine what those girls would say if they heard you say, "I CANNOT LOSE YOU BY MY SIIIIIDE!"

What the~ That sounds gay, na? And we're the ship of manly men. How can we even say stupid gay stuff like that. Good job rewritin' the audiences love it.

Besides, guys, we're wrappin' up. Any special effects you wanna have for the last few shows?

[ filter to Rikku | voice ]

Hey, good job in finally getting the ship down to order. Now,I know we had cool designs but it gets hot in the stage when it's packed. What say let's work on a way to bring more in next time. For now, can we instally temporary fans in the audience and stage area?

And oh... I think I knocked the lights in the last show. Ahahahahaha... sorry 'bout that.

Oh and Rikku. I made a cabinet near the kitchen. Now I put a slot in it at the bottom to make the bottom part of it like an icebox. I dunno how you do it but if you have an idea on how to keep the ice there from melting fast, I'd appreciate it. You gotta keep the ice cream cool, ya know.

[ filter to Hughes | voice ]

Cabinet's done and painted. I should get a reward for this for doing this in my busy schedule as an actor. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IS IT TO RUN AWAY FROM FANS, HA!?!

[ filter to Takasugi & Katsura | voice ]

Thanks for watchin'. Glad you enjoyed the show.

[ filter to Takasugi | voice ]

Do you really have to watch it every night?

[ filter to Hijikata | voice ]

You see, I should get some kind of warrant against you since you do nothing but kick me around. Then I realized you're a copper and that won't work. Tch.

Anyway, your not!boyfrando's chummy chum chum is havin' a party on board. See, I told you. All he ever does is drink. Y SO OBSESSED MAYORA! I'm moooooore interesting than that bastard. Did he show you his kid!?! DON'T MAKE HIM SHOW YOU HIS KID.

20 fried ice creams * public | voice

2009-06-18T04:36:15Z

I, GINTOKI SAKATA WOULD LIKE TO DEEPLY APOLOGIZE TO ALL THE WOMEN. I BELIEVE YOU ARE ALL ABLE, THOUGHTFUL, REMARKABLE, IF NOT INIFNITELY AMAJING .

I RESPECT YOUR EXISTENCE AND uhhh... I LOOK FORWARD TO BEING IN YOUR CARE.

.... now, I wonder if I can ask Jean for a date...

[ooc... I'm terribly sorry... how... Gintoki is spamming your flist. orz. ploooots.]

19 cotton candies - public | voice

2009-06-17T04:16:38Z

[the sound of feet shuffling... and somebody visibly panting]

HIJI-
HU-
ZU-
TE-
TAKA-

[the sound of tripping, a grunt, more panting, and whistling and some people screaming 'STOOOP!']

DOCTOR DOUBLE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

18 pineapple tarts - various

2009-06-14T04:09:34Z

[filtered to Winding Way]

Alright. You folks. You don't know what's comin' to you until it's right at ya. With the help of the dinosaur, Rikku, and the geek, we managed to get the stage ready, at its minimum requirement. The same goes for Gunsmoke which is at 85% operational.

It's not yet finished. The hull is still going to be repaired by the geek and the dinosaur. But the stage would be ready in time for the play.

By the way, when's the auditions? I've been swinging around my Samurai Spear for some time now.

Now, for those who like to play with some luck in the Winding Way, I've got a five hundred dubloons in my pocket. Now, why don't we make a little bet on the carrot top? Ha? What do you think? Just for us folks here since, wouldn't it be better to lose your cash on a member of your crew, ha?

[ooc: Hi folks! I'm running a little betting service for the members of the Winding Way. It's basically a betting on where Ichigo will place in the race. Will he be in the top ten, the last 15, or the mediocre middle. Since we don't know where he'll place, I'm quite sure that at least, Ichigo would be in the top ten, right? I would need someone to handle/take the money for the bets since I know you guys wouldn't want Gintoki to hold on to yours during this betting. It's a lot easier too since well we don't have to log this and the bookeeper would be the one taking in all the bets for members of the Way. So feel free to volunteer your bookeep. And yes, we're going to make Gintoki bankrupt at the end of the races!]

[filtered to Tear]
I'm here at the Badlands now. I'm not sure how to find ya, but it's easier to find me in this places. Just look around for me at the bar named Gunsmoke. The bar's at the deck of my ship.

[filtered to Watson]
I need a dental check-up.

017 blueberry cheesecakes - [various]

2009-06-11T02:16:18Z

[public | voice]

Words sure does have weight, doesn't it.

[a deep heavy sigh is heard]

Goin' to be busy for a while, but for friends, if you guys are gonna be goin' to the races, I'd like to meet you all again.

[filter to L and Vash]
So, about the plans I showed you, I'll get started on it, alright?

[filter to Yuri and Guy]

Hey guys,

You're pretty much new to the ship but I thought I'd get your hands dirty right away with some nifty plans that'll make the ship awesomecakes. So let's talk it over in my cabin.

And... can you guys bring in some of Jean's dessert? Any will do. I really miss it.

ooc - because I'm a forgetful bint

2009-06-10T04:30:16Z

uhm... this is at most, a relationship meme.

See, there's a lot of things going on in my head and sometimes I forget how my characters view people and in a tag I think sometimes my opinions sway. So, this meme will keep in track how I actually should remember/feel about your character when I encounter you.

Yes, I am just as retarded as Gin-chan, so please, be kind to me but not to him and let me remember how I'm supposed to err... remember you folks. <3 <3 ILU, guys!

Oh yeah, you gaiz, you are free to reply on your impressions on Gintoki as well. And then... uhm.. we could work on how to make it better! ;3;

16 candied apples * filter to the Way | voice

2009-06-08T05:31:45Z

You know... if he's not gonna fly the plane, then we might as well rip his plane apart and sell it. We kinda need the money, ya know. Or I CAN fly the plane, crash it, and then sell the parts.

Just a fair suggestion since, he seems to be a coward who can't even handle the competition.

Ah! Or maybe he's being, ya know, like that sweet little girl who keeps saying no to a guy but actually really REALLY wants to be with him she's just totally embarassed to admit that she loves him? Ya know, those types.

Ah-! Maybe Ichigo doesn't really love his plane at all you know. He's probably just all talk.

On the side... WHO'S ACTING FOR STEEL SAMURAI?

15 momoko daifukus * public voice

2009-06-03T09:23:57Z

DEAR NETWORK,

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!

KIDS THESE DAYS HAVE TOTALLY LOST IT!!

And here I thought they'd learn from the fantastic comics like Steel Samurai. HASN'T STEEL SAMURAI TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING!?!

1. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!
2. RESPECT PEOPLE'S PRIVATE SPACE!
3. DON'T JUST CALL ANYONE A PERMHEAD! SOME ARE BORN WITH NATURAL PERMS OKAY!
4. YOU DON'T JUST FACEKICK ANYONE JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE EXERCISIN'
5. JUSTICE DOESN'T MEAN RAISING YOUR FIST AT SOME GUY WHO WAS JUST DOIN' HIS EXERCISE

These are the five core values learned from Steel Samurai. Among many that you can learn. I am tellin' ya, I don't get it with kids these days. First the stupid cranes that must be made from some stupid third grader with no time. And now, carrot tops who like to explode for no stupid reason.

Tch. KIDS! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR NEXT GENERATION, HA!?

This is truly an upsetting day for the future.

Sincerely,

The Chivalrous Gintoki Sakata

14 dove chocolates * [public - voice]

2009-05-29T16:08:59Z

OI-----!!! IS THIS CRANE MOCKING ME!?!

WHAT DOES IT MEAN BY 'IN YOUR PANTS'!?!

013 lemon sours - [filtered]

2009-05-28T07:56:40Z

[voice | filtered to an address in Bellcius]

Oi, old woman, are you alright?

Things are heating up there. Shit just hit the fan here but, yeah, looks like things aren't swingin' well over there.

When things get shaky, ask the kids at Yorozuya to help ya. Kagura's strong enough to bowl things over, not that you aren't strong enough to kick some folks around, but she can give a heavy hand when you gotta lug your stuff around.

You can trust 'em while I'm gone.

I promised you I'll protect you, right? I'll come runnin' there if things screw over.

And yeah, I hope you got the payment for this month's rent. I'm still working the pay for uhmm... two months ago.

012 creampuffs * [voice | public]

2009-05-28T04:54:00Z

[ He clears his throat and starts humming tones like mi mi mi mi mi ]

Hail the Heroes of Bell... *ahem*... Bydan
by Gintoki Sakata, the better poet

HAIL! HAIL! THE GREAT HEROES OF BYDAN!
A MEN WITH BURNING COURAGEOUS SOULS AND ONE HAS A GREAT SILVER PERM,
NO ONE CAN COMPARE WITH GREATNESS OF YOUR BRAVERY,
NOT EVEN THOSE NOISY MEN IN UNIFORMS WHO PRATTLE LIKE OLD LADIES,

WHAT SAY YOU, GLORIOUS HEROES OF BYDAN?
NO ONE CAN MATCH YOUR BRAVERY AGAINST THOSE CACTAURS
A NEEDLE OR A THOUSAND CAN'T STOP YOUR WAY
AND YOU EVEN GET JEAN TO DANCE FOR YOU SOMEWHERE IN THE FRAY

YOU ARE NOT SISSIES, GREAT HEROES OF BYDAN
UNLIKE THOSE OFFICERS WHO COWER AT THE MENTION OF VOHEMAR
YOU HAVE MORE THAN YOUR POETRY
YOU'VE GOT GUTS, GLORY, AND BRAVERY.
ALL HAIL, HEROES OF BYDAN!
ALL HAIL, YOU AMAJING LOT!

[clears throat once more and ends broadcast.]

011 crinkles * [voice | public]

2009-05-23T22:50:08Z

OI! SHALAHAHA! BRAT!! ARE YOU READY FOR THE COUNT!?!

[You hear shuffling and then the strange sounds of 100 darts coming from somewhere. A quick grunt a squishing sound!]

ONE!

[More grunts and squishing, blobby sounds and some some]

TWO!

[A sudden gasp]

HOSHIT!

[Fifteen minutes running, grunting, squishing, blobby, darting needles, Gintoki sounds like he's gonna die really soon kind of sounds. Then silence.]

FIFTY-THREE!

10 lollipops * [accidental post] [public]

2009-05-21T06:28:25Z

[sound of running and hammering and swishing about before more running...]

Tch... This really brings back a lot of things doesn't it...

... I'm not going to see Bydan or this ship in ruins again.

[ooc: Sorry for the massive surge of posts on Gintoki's end, but yeah, this is quite an important thing for him for many reasons so he's really going all out. orz. why you do this on my supposed hiatus. ;A; I thought it'd be a laid back week. But this would probably be the last. The rest of his antics would be in the logs...]

009 licorice * [voice] [FILTER TO PEOPLE AROUND BYDAN]

2009-05-21T05:03:45Z

stupid officers and their stupid frakking poetry

FOLKS!! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?! THIS IS GINTOKI SAKATA SPEAKING!! I HAVE A LITTLE PLAN.

IT'S COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THESE LITTLE CACTAURS ARE POSSIBLY WEAK TO FIRE. NOW BEFORE THEY COULD EVEN REACH THE DAMN TOWN AND THE DAMN SHIPS DOCKED AT PORT, I SUGGEST THAT WE BUILD A WALL OF FIRE JUST SMACK AT THE CANNON RANGE OF THE SHIPS. THIS WOULD PREVENT THEM FROM COMING NEAR THE TOWN OR THE PORT. I'M NOT SURE HOW FAR THEIR NEEDLES COULD ATTACK, BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT GOING TO RANSACK OUR DAMN SHIPS AND DESTROY EVERYTHING UP CLOSE.

NOW WHOEVER THINKS THIS SMART SAY "BLOODY BRILLIANT, I DARESAY, GINTOKI."

8 lemon drops * public [voice]

2009-05-21T03:03:30Z

AND I JUST FIXED THE DAMN SHIP!!!

[some shuffling and scuttling and random spazzes of hnnngh.... HNNNGHH... and HNNNNNGH can be heard]

I THOUGHT THAT RADIO SHOW FINAL FANTASY B WAS FICTION HA-!?!

Plants are not supposed to have legs! My teacher never told me that legs are parts of a plant. NOR ARMS! ARE THOSE ARMS!?! WHY ARE THEY POPPING THAT!?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!

Dammit. And I was having sweet dreams of my choco-banana parfait and I'll wake up to THIS! Tch!

There's got to be a way to stop these plantoids cactaurs whatever they are. hngh. Tch. That character in Final Fantasy B didn't even last with that Thousand Needle attack. What the hell, Loud! Lamest character ever! You're only good swinging your sword and sleeping in tents. HNGH.

HNNNNNNNNNNNNGHHH!!!

[more shuffling, and tapping can be heard. Gintoki's got his wooden sword and he's out at the deck, HNNNNGGGGGHing his life away, waiting for those damn cactaurs to come.]

7 pop tarts * public

2009-05-05T02:31:01Z

Dear people,

A public announcement.

Today's a very ominous day. I know fate chucked up an awful lot of annoying people on this day.

You've been warned. Today's the day of grumpy heads.

Sincerely,

The more sociable and ungrumpy just deadpan most of the time Gintoki Sakata.

6 sugar cones * public

2009-04-27T05:14:03Z

Dear slave driver,

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF YOU.

I knew it. That barbecue was really suspicious. Making us thinkI understand that the ship is down but you don't have to work our assess off until it falls. Or get crinkled like crinkles.

Who do you think you are? The Student Council President? Are we here to fix the damn Cultural festival of your dreams or something?

Look. It's a team effort. And showing your damn kid's picture around doesn't count as a 'job'. These new folks think they know anything and everything involving damn ships.

AND YES. I AM GRIPING. AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF SUGAR. JEAN MAKES AMAZING DESSERTS! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER.

DO YOU THINK WHAT YOU'RE DOING AT THE HULL IS A GOOD JOB!?! YOU THINK YOU CAN KEEP THE SHIP AFLOAT WITH THAT HAMMERING JOB!?! WHY DON'T YOU JUST STICK TO THE MICROPHONE AND ACTUALLY FIX YOUR DAMN VOICE!!!

YES, I AM ON TO YOU, LOLI-KUN! AS A SHIPBUILDER FROM BYDAN, FFFFFFF YOUR SHODDY HAMMERING JOB!!!

Sincerely yours,

The Dissatisfied Sakata Gintoki

5 cashew tarts * various

2009-04-11T11:58:19Z

[filtered to the way || voice]

*sounds of heavy breathing, clearly tired.*

Oi. how are you guys hangin'? That was tough but we seem to have driven them out. Good job, folks.

I just came 'round from the forest and I'm looking for the captain or the first mate. It seems you guys got some opening in the Winding Way and I was supposed to have a chit-chat with them about my employment options.

Well, until they say a word, if you guys want me to fix anything, I suppose I could get my tools out for some screwing.

It's Gintoki Sakata, by the way. It was great fighting beside you folks.

[public]

Dear the population who didn't get attacked by the purple-beard pirates,

My balls are still intact. Thanks for your concern.

That was the craziest battle I've ever been in my life. I understand that people with perm have complexes but they shouldn't steal caramel from a ship just for it. Look, Magentabeard, if you're reading this, grow up. The whole world is no longer bullying your beard. Get on with the program, so my black momma' said.

Thanks to that thing my interview might be slightly delayed. I'm gonna help around some folks here. The ship's a total wreck. A 'nice' thing to arrive to when you're lookin' for work.

On another end, I look like a mess. I might as well brush my hair a bit before they start thinking I look like Magentabeard.

That moron.

Sincerely yours,
The Victorious Gintoki Sakata

[private to self]

Dear Gintoki,

I don't want to work. Stop being a hero and get a break for once. Moron.

Yours truly,
Gintoki

4 revel bars * public [voice]

2009-04-07T03:15:24Z

[you hear mad cackles of slurry pirates in the background. And some whizzing planes.]</small>

OIIIIIII!! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING THE CANDIES!?!?!

W-w-what the hell is this!?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?!

I go on a long epic journey to the northeast and then I see this broken ship and a bunch of purple-haired idiots flying around taking candies. Well, not sure if they ARE candies, but they glisten under the sun and I thought 'Ah! That must be caramel!' That makes them candies right?

How the hell do I go for a job interview if I haven't even boarded the ship and--

[you hear a loud crash... and some static noise in the background and then some clashing of swords next and more mad cackling.]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA!!! EAT MY LAKE TOUYA YOU, IDIOT. IT TAKES MORE THAN A STINKY TO BEAT THE GREAT GINTOKI SAKATA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! THAT MAYORA CAN'T EVEN TOUCH ME!

[ooc: If you guys in The Way want Gintoki's help, just ring him in, alright? He'll come runnin']

3 slices of Devil's Food Cake * [public]

2009-04-01T10:39:08Z

Dear Captain of the Winding Way,

Hello, boss.

My name is Gintoki Sakata, a humble laborer of Reial. I have heard about the greatness of your ship and how your ship went to such lengths to procure some sweet treats. You may say that I'm little invested with your saccharine treasures, but see, I'm also in need of employment and somehow, the story of your ship made me ponder of places I've yet to explore myself.

I am currently in Trewe, working as a window washer. I've been doing odd jobs for the past four years, usually assigned in the docks fixing ships and all that. But I can also cook some things like Strawberry Shortcake, Strawberry Pancakes, Strawberry Chiboust, Triple Chocolate Delight, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies, Blueberry Cheesecake, and derivatives of those sweet treats.

Relatively, I'm a strong guy. My good-looks and my well-built muscles attest to that. It comes with doing hard odd jobs. I can lift heavy objects and do menial tasks nobody else would do. So you can bank on me working hard for your ship. I can give you my recommendation list, if you want it.

Hopefully you would reply to this letter and we could be in contact with each other with regards to this employment. I look forward to working for such a sweet ship.

Yours truly,
The Hardworking Freelancer Sakata Gintoki

[ooc: Although this letter is addressed to the captain of the Winding Way, since Gintoki's not familiar on how to lock or direct private posts, he accidentally posts this in public. So no filters people. Feel free to call Gintoki a lying liar.]

02 chocolate chip bars * [public]

2009-03-23T11:49:43Z

Dear whoever is reading this digital letter, which means YOU,

Hrmm... I'm starting to get used to this. Today, I learned how to use THE BOLD FUNCTION. I guess this is the same as using your pen over and over again writing the same letter because you're damn angry. Alright, I have something to be angry about. And I will put that function to good use.

Things in Claiborne didn't exactly fold out. The guy at the docks didn't pay too well. I couldn't even get the Super Grande Jumbo Extra Hyper Lipsmacking Amazing Strawberry Parfait Deluxe from the sweet shop with my pay.

That was depressing. When you see people in front of you eating it with such cheery faces. YEAH. THAT'S DEPRESSING.

This letter is brought to you by the Bold function. DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE IT!

Yours in sweetness,
The Great Gintoki Sakata

P.S. (I guess you can put post scripts in these things, right?)
Hey. I heard something interesting while working in the docks. I heard there's a mountain made of candies somewhere around Reial. And there's a couple of ships who have been there. They just never told me which ones. Now, I don't mind working for a ship that doesn't pay me much but a trip or two to that candy heaven can keep me happy for some while. Oh yeah, candies. Sweet glorious candies. I'll do anything for those luscious treats.

Anyone heard about this rumor? Is this true? C'mon, don't be scared to tell Gin-chan of the nice little details of the butterscotch pond or the lollipop trees. Thinking about this said mountain now is making me really dizzy. Damn, I need my sugar. Before that, I need to get a job.

I might move out of Claiborne soon... probably take the mountains and visit some friends.

1 kilo of caramel corn * [PUBLIC]

2009-03-20T10:01:49Z

Dear, who should I address these things to? How do you make this go to the next line. 'Press Enter' says the manual. I don't see that damn key, where

is. OH! How did that happen? I think...

Okay, I got it.

Hrmm... these electric journal things. Pen and paper's quite convenient already but these electric journal things are really bothersome... and expensive. If only I didn't need this for my new job.

Can't see why kids nowadays call these cool. You can't exactly throw this at other kids in the playground, can ya? Can you even listen to radio shows with this? Even read Steel Samurai!?

First post. What to post in a first post. Wait... Hrmm... got nothing in my head right now. It's because I haven't had my candy for the day yet. I ran out of candy a few hours ago.

Hanging out at Claiborne now for some job at the docks. This better pay me well.

Yours truly,
The Great Gintoki Sakata